May 30, 2010 My English = Sucks!
Three days last this, i spend my day just in my room. Playing internet, listening music, playing guitar, make some video, recording some songs, watching TV. No eat, i just eat some fried tofu, fried banana, and ice tea. No bath, because i don’t wanna, i have no move, just sit down in front of computer, so i not sweaty, and i don’t need bath. No smoking, because i don’t have smoke anymore, if i want to smoke, i ask my friend sometimes. Or, i collect small money to buy one or two ciggaretes. I have no money, so i cannot going anywhere with my motorcycle, i affraid my motorcycle lack of gasoline, then i cannot buy the gasoline in the way.
In three days that, i cannot sleep well. I just sleep sleep chicken. One or two hour sleep, then wake up again, trying to sleep, difficult. My head sick, and my eyes like a ashtray. But, i cannot sleep. And, in the sunday night i can sleep. Because i eat a drugs sleep. In my sleep, i dream, a weird dream. My body change into a box of Lucky Strike ciggaretes. I walking in some place, that i don’t know. Everything white. In that place, i meet a lighter. Then, we become a friend, we playing, singing, running, watching Sigur Ros, and Jonsi playing his guitar with stick. We very happy.
After we watching Sigur Ros, we go home, and making love. In the center of making love, the lighter tell me. “Do not tell anyone if we have meet and watching Sigur Ros together, then make out. Do you know why, because i am a Metalhead.” So i answer “What the fuck! how come i have a ciggaretes, but i have no lighter.” Then, lighter whispering me “Shut up, and kiss me, Jack.” Then, i kiss a lighter. Her lips very hot. Like Angelina Jolie lips. I feel like a cowboy in the field, but without horse because i affraid with that animal, very annoying. After we make out, suddenly the clouds become black. Like want to rain. Hurricane, thunder, lightening, we running as fast as we can. Lighter jump jump, and i rolling.
“Run, you have to run, ass hole! Do not stop, and do not caught in the middle! Scream louder, do not look back, do not think about me, just run and scream. Burn! burn! the years is burn, yiha!” lighter barking me, with fire in her head. “Oh my God, your head honey, fire, fire!” i scream to her, but she’s becoming fade away, and gone. “Where you go, dammit! How come, how come!” i screaming again, but she have lost.”Dammit! what she just said? Fuckin’ hermeneutics!”
Then, i wake up. Smashing Pumpkins with their “Disarm” song, singing along night in my media player. I turn off the media player, then look the clock hand, that clock was display 06:08. I shake the box Lucky Strike, but it is empty. I check my cell phone, there is one message, from my mother. She ask me when i go home, to attend her cousins wedding party. I answer in my heart, i must be go home, just relax Mom. I cannot reply the messages, because there is not enough money in my sim card. Then, i try to sleep again, and again, and again. Hey, it is holiday!
p.s : dream is a escaping from reality; in my case, what is the reality, what, where, how is reality, i do not have any reality, my life is dreaming. I do not have anything to escaping into the dream, my dream is reality that never real. Reality, reality! @.@